Im sure all of us ladies have had our share of clever, lame, ingenious and flat out ridiculous pick up lines. Although, I wasn't going to discuss the art of wooing and the laws of attraction until later in my blanting, (blogging and ranting)I decided to go along with this topic because today while I was out, I heard a pick up line that totally took me off guard.
I think men have semen instead of blood running through their veins. Their brains seem be in a permanent state of an erection, thus the ejaculation of stupidity oozing out of their mouths.
While strolling through Walmart minding my own business, I notice a guy looking my way. Thinking nothing of it, I continue on mulling through the aisles of paper goods, when I notice the guy comes near to me. Inside Im slowly praying, "Lord please say he"s just grabbing something off the shelf near me." But NOOOOOO...he's coming over to introduce himself. Here's the convo, as it unfolds....
Him: "Hello my name is Charmen."
Me: "Hi Charmen how are you?'
Him: "What you dont have a name?"
Me: "Lu."
Him: "What is that short for?"
Me: "Lulu."
Now here's where the smell starts to permeate in the air.........
Him: "Beautiful name for such a beautiful face."
Me: "Thank you."
And I havent a clue as to why I asked, but my mouth fired before I could stop it....
Me: "What does your name mean?"
Him: "Girl you aint never heard of Charmin, the toilet paper?"
Me: "Yea, but is that what your really named after?"
Him: "Yes, I am like the toilet paper and I wanna get up in that ass!"
Needless to say, he didn't get shit...(No pun intended)
What makes men think that pick up lines like that would actually attract a woman? And, if they do, what kind of woman falls for it. I wanna know.
I am going to blog about some of the most outlandish experiences my friends and myself have gone through involving the opposite sex....and hey sometimes the same sex.
Between some of the most hilarious pick up lines to the lamest dates, I'm going all in and exposing these men, and ask women.... "What where you/we thinking."
Here are a few lines Ive gotten over the years.....
If it's 12 inches your looking for, I can fuck you twice......
If you think your pussy is all that great, you go home and eat it......
Does your carpet match your drapes......
Your wanna play post office, you lick and I'll deliver......
Do you need me to pack your box?......
You should be a chicken farmer, cause you can raise some cock.....
Do you bake, cause you have nice buns.....
I love fishing, can I hook and mount you?......
There's a party at my ankles, should I invite my pants down?......
Do you give head to strangers?...Then let me introduce myself......
Ladies enjoy your day.....And lift your standards, your worth it.
